


Neil Hates Cocoa and Frying Pans and We Can't Blame Him

by Luci_Cunt



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Pre-Slash, Rapunzel AU, and andrew gets to use a frying pan, and neil is kind of flynn ryder, but again it's verrrrrryyyyy vague, hot cocoa as a torture device, in which Andrew is kind of rapunzel, ish, mostly drake, the author wrote this in two hours plz i'm sorry about typos, there's no romancing in this first bit sorry y'all, there's very very very very vague allusions to non/con stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24551704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luci_Cunt/pseuds/Luci_Cunt
Summary: i didn't know what to title this so--but yeah it's a tangled/ rapunzel au. Andrew as rapunzel + Neil as the "prince" / kinda flynn. I'm playing very fast and very lose with these rules XDMajor + Seaaweed: this is 200% your guys' fault and I hate you(That's a lie I lvoe you plz give me ur ao3 @ so I can dedicate this to y'all)
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 23
Kudos: 125





	Neil Hates Cocoa and Frying Pans and We Can't Blame Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seaaweedbrain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seaaweedbrain/gifts).



> Ok also a quick note: this is just the first chapter of a thing I have an idea for, but she's on the back burner because I need to finish Homesong and my own og project so updates will be very, very slow, or just none at all and I'm sorry alkjdf;laskdjf. I just had to write out this first bit but if you're curious and can't wait I put my general idea for the fic at the notes in the end so -- yeet, plz enjoy I lov eyou

Saying Neil wasn’t used to running was like saying a fish wasn’t used to breathing underwater--it’s just wrong. However, no matter how used to running he was, it didn’t make it anymore fun. 

Take now for example: Neil was sprinting through a forest, dodging trees and breaking branches as he forced himself not to look over his shoulder at the sounds of heavy footsteps close behind him. There were shouts, but Neil didn’t listen, just ducked under an overhanging branch and made a break for the river up ahead. 

He wasn’t having much fun. 

There was a fallen tree creating a rickety almost-bridge and Neil nimbly ran across it, pausing for a moment so he could shove the log down into the water so that his assailants couldn’t follow him. They all came skidding to a stop on the other side of the river, glaring and scowling at him, and Neil couldn’t help but grin. 

Ok, maybe he was having a _little_ bit of fun. 

“Turn yourself in Nathaniel!” one of the men yelled, his face was red from all the running and he was breathing heavy. Neil didn’t recognize him--but he usually didn’t recognize anyone that worked for his father aside from the Wesninski emblem on the blood red fabric their tunics were made of. There were only a few of the Wesninski lackeys that Neil actually knew by name--and those weren’t people he thought of fondly--or much at all if he could help it.

Luckily right now he was just being chased by some low level guards. He’d gotten sloppy--thinking he could cross through his father’s territory if he just went quickly enough. And he might have, but he got distracted by a jousting match taking place and really--what was he to do? Walk away? 

The crowd had been worked up and roaring, the horses nickering and pawing at the ground as their riders sat tense on their backs, both trussed up in armor so ridiculous it looked barely functional as anything besides riding gear. They held their long lances at the ready, relaxed and calm before they would lean forward--goad their horses up to speed--and charge, crashing into each other in a spectacular explosion of wood and Neil would tense his own legs and feel the punch in his shoulder as though it was him on the horse. 

And then he’d been recognized. 

And here we are. 

He flipped off the guards on the other side of the river, and then realized one of them was loading a crossbow. He took that as his queue to leave and sprinted away, but he knew they would eventually figure out a way to get across--or just cross the river themselves, which Neil knew they were doing as he heard the splashing and cursing of them as they jumped in. 

He knew he had to find a place to hide, he didn’t know the forest, and he didn’t want to run deeper into it and get lost--because of the distraction and subsequent recognition he hadn’t gotten the chance to stock up on supplies so his pack was completely empty. 

But as he looked around he realized there wasn’t any place to hide. 

Neil felt a bit of panic tear at him, but he forced it down and searched the forest more intently, tuning out the shouts of the gaining guards hot on his tail. Movement out of the corner of his eye made him slow a bit--the branches of a heavy looking weeping willow swayed gently despite the fact that there wasn’t any breeze to move them. 

Glancing behind him, Neil took the chance and changed his course, pushing aside the branches and finding himself in the shade of the massive tree. The branches were so thick he couldn’t see anything beyond them, and they reached almost all the way to the ground. After a moment he saw it again--the stirring--it was coming from the opposite side and he went towards it, frowning as he came to a rock face behind the tree. 

The branches swayed again, as though there was a breeze coming out of the rocks, and he blinked. 

“NATHANIEL!” one of the guards yelled, sounding far too close for comfort, and Neil jumped--tripping and fell into the rock face--only--he didn’t hit it like he expected to, instead falling right through it into blinding sunlight. 

He blinked for a moment and then scrambled up and away from the odd fake-rocks. Immediately the sunlight disappeared and he was back in the dark under the tree. Neil stuck a hand out, watching in wonder as it again, went directly through the rocks. He could feel the heat of the sun touching his fingers and he jerked his hand back out. 

“We will find you!” another guard called, and Neil heard footsteps just outside the willow. Realizing he had no other options, he steeled himself and ran through the rocks. Wincing against the expected solidness--but they didn’t stop him. 

When he opened his eyes he found himself in a clearing. Everything was bright and perfect, from the candy colored grass the clear, clean looking pond on his left. The sky was a brilliant blue and in the distance Neil saw an odd tower. 

“Shit! I swore he’d be in here,” Neil heard one of the guards curse, and he froze, expecting them to spot him at any moment.

“Damn bitch probably kept running,” another guard hissed. 

“Motherfucker--I swear when I catch him--” 

“You know what the orders were, we’re not supposed to fuck him up.” 

“Yeah but if a little travel accidentally led to some bruising here and there…” 

“You really want to explain to the Butcher why his new chewtoy has brown spots?” 

“Motherfucker.” 

“Come on--we’d better go if we want to catch up, little shit’s fast.” 

And then Neil heard their footsteps race off. His heart was pounding and he could hardly breath as he stood completely still until he was sure they were gone. He could hardly believe his luck. 

Again he looked around the clearing--this time more suspiciously. It still looked perfect, with a warm breeze caressing Neil’s face and that mysterious tower off in the distance. Part of Neil thought he should turn and leave--but that would mean going back into his father’s territory for food--he didn’t have enough to make it to the next city, and there wasn’t much to hunt in these woods thanks to his father’s affliction for hunting. 

The fake-rock face was probably as good of cover as Neil was going to get for a long time. Plus maybe the tower had some food in it. At the very least it would make for a dry place to sleep--so Neil started towards it. 

It was eerie, how it almost seemed to grow the closer he got until he had to crane his neck to see the very top of it--which now blotted out the setting sun. It was made of strong stone, with ivy crawling up it in thick coils. It looked old, and as Neil got to the bottom he almost tripped over a rock. He scowled down at it--and then blinked as he realized he was looking at a human skull. 

Upon closer inspection there was actually a whole human skeleton that was being overgrown with moss, the flesh had almost completely decomposed--the bits still hanging on were so dry they looked dusty and it’s eye sockets were hollow. It appeared to be a man, but Neil couldn’t be sure. Whatever sex it looked disgusting, and his stomach rolled as he looked back up at the tower more warily. 

_Whoever lived up there probably just jumped out of boredom._ He tried to tell himself. _That just means it's empty._ He thought. Ignoring the fact that if the man had jumped the body would be face down. 

He did a quick loop of the tower’s base, and was intrigued to find there wasn’t a door. He tested the stones, glancing up and toying with the idea of climbing it--but even just the thought made his arms ache and he wouldn’t want to be caught in such a weak state if someone _was_ still up there. So instead he looked around, spiraling wider and wider away from the tower until he found a trapdoor hidden under a thick bramble patch a ways away. Oddly--the blackberries were the only dark looking part of the whole picturesque meadow, they looked out of place and Neil wasn’t sure how he’d missed them on his first glance. 

Pushing the thought out of his mind he pried open the door and dropped into a dirt tunnel that took him back towards the tower, except now there was a ladder for him to climb. It was too dark for Neil to be able to see much, but he felt around until he found a ladder. 

It seemed surprisingly sturdy, and Neil had come this far, so he started to climb. It was a long ways up, and Neil bumped his head on the top when he reached it--almost managing to fall off the ladder completely.

He felt around blindly again, eventually realizing the whole section above him was a trapdoor that he pushed open. It led into another dark room, and Neil had to feel around for another movable section--this one was significantly heavier, and he pushed it open only as far as it would take for him to squeeze through so he could peak out. 

Candle light slunk through the crack, creating a sliver of yellow-ish light that sliced through the dark room. He couldn’t see much of the tower--just large glass windows across a cozy looking room with a large patterned rug. Neil listened for any sign of people, but when he didn’t hear anything squeezed out of the room. 

He was surprised to find he’d come out from behind a bookshelf, which he quickly shoved back into place before he turned to face the main room of the tower again. 

Again Neil was struck by the odd coziness of the place. It wasn’t very big but the walls were covered in bookshelves and there was a little staircase leading to a loft. 

The only thing that looked out of place was a massive bed on the other side of the room--or, Neil assumed it had _been_ a bed, it was completely destroyed. Rendered a pile of splintered wood and torn fabric and the spilled feathers from pillows. All of it had a thick layer of dust over it, like it hadn’t been touched in years. 

“Weird,” Neil muttered out loud. 

He wandered over to the window, standing a few feet away from it and leaning over to look out. The sight made his stomach roll, the tower was so high he could almost see above the treetops. He backed away quickly, swallowing his nausea, and then frowned as he realized the windows were completely sealed. There wasn’t a latch or a hinge anywhere to open them. 

He glanced down again, this time spotting the distant shape of the skeleton he’d seen earlier and wondered how the hell it managed to fall out if there wasn’t any way to open the windows. 

And that was the last thought Neil had before a frying pan slammed into the back of his head and he crumpled to the ground--utterly unconscious. 

****

Neil came to with a blinding headache. 

He groaned, squeezing his eyes against the light of a candle and reaching up to cradle his throbbing head. It was only then that he realized he couldn’t move his hands--and panic squeezed the air out of his lungs. 

He ignored his head and jerked his wrists against the fabric keeping him bound to a chair. They were too tight for him to even wiggle, and his ankles and chest were bound in much the same way. He squinted at the bindings and realized vaguely they appeared to be blankets.

“Even if you manage to get out, I’ll just hit you with my pan again,” a voice said, and Neil froze.

He looked up slowly, and spotted a man lounging at a table across from him. He had a mug filled with something hot and an apple he was throwing up and catching in one hand as he watched Neil. The frying pan was on the table, well within arms reach. The man himself wore dark clothing and had dark eyes that looked inhumanly bored. The only thing that wasn’t dark about him--in fact--was his pale skin and blond hair, which was so long it spilled over the back of his chair, almost sweeping the ground. 

“Let me go,” Neil said, keeping his voice steady despite the panic at being restrained. 

The man cocked his head. 

“Why?” 

Neil frowned. “Why--? What do you--? Because I don’t want to be tied to a chair?” he said incredulously. 

The man didn’t move for a moment, and then when he did it was to put his uneaten apple on the table and take a long-- _loud_ \--sip out of the mug. 

“Let me go,” Neil said again. 

“You’re smaller than I expected,” the man said instead, eying Neil clinically. 

“ _What?_ ” Neil asked. 

The man sighed heavily. “Don’t play dumb, it won’t get you anywhere, and certainly won’t get you out of the chair.” 

“I’m not--” 

“Shut up.”

“No! Let me go!” Neil said, now feeling more incensed than afraid. 

The man raised a lazy brow, taking another annoyingly loud sip of whatever was in his mug. 

“You’re annoying,” he said. 

“You’re psychotic!” Neil said. 

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Coming from--listen--I don’t know who you think I am but I swear to--” 

“Ah ah, don’t say the lord's name in vain that’s naughty,” the man said, shaking a finger mockingly. 

“Fuck you!” 

“So feisty.” 

“I--fu--you--” Neil was at a loss for words. He really--more than anything--wanted to strangle the life out of the infuriating man across from him. He clenched his fists and fought against the bindings, but they still didn’t budge. 

“Honestly what did you expect when you got zapped in here? I’d just sit and look pretty?” 

“What?” Neil said, blinking in confusion. The man rolled his eyes and took another drink. “I--what?” Neil repeated, more confused once he’d gone over the words again in his head. “I didn’t know there was a fucking maniac up here--if I did do you really think I would have come up?!” he snapped. 

The man scowled, showing the first real emotion since Neil had woken up. “Right, because she left you completely in the dark before sending you in here,” he said. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I just wanted someplace to stay the night! It looked empty! I’ll fucking leave if you let me up--I don’t want to be around you anymore I swear I’ll fucking go,” Neil said. 

That made the man frown. “How will you leave? Do you have a way to contact her?”

“Contact--? Who are you talking about?!” Neil snapped. 

“The fucking witch that send you up here--obviously,” the man snarled. 

“There was no fucking witch!! I went up a god damned ladder!” 

The man froze. “You what?”

“Went up a ladder, there wasn’t a door so I looked around and found the one in the briar patch, and then here I am--tied to a chair talking to some fucking asshole psycho!” 

In a bare second the man was towering over Neil, grabbing the collar of his shirt and snarling into his face. “What door? Where?” he snapped urgently, and Neil blinked in shock before recovering himself and narrowing his eyes. 

“Untie me and I’ll tell you.” 

The man’s teeth ground so harshly Neil could hear them creaking. “You think this is some kind of sick game? That you can trick me with something as stupid as that?” he seethed. 

“I’m not tricking you!” Neil shouted. 

The man shoved Neil, and he fell backwards, unable to catch himself and curled his head up to keep it from hitting the ground as he slammed onto his back. The man stood over him, hair hanging around his blank face as he looked down at Neil. 

“Tell me where the door is.” 

“Let me go and I’ll show you.” 

The man picked up the mug from the table and held it over Neil’s face. “This is boiling cocoa, I have another pot started on the stove.” 

Neil got the idea. 

“Ok--wait--just--” 

The man tipped the mug. 

“OK STOP WAIT!” Neil yelled, flinching away. 

“Where’s the door you apparently came through?” 

Neil hesitantly looked up at the man, wincing when he saw the mug was still held precariously over his face, but the man wasn’t moving. 

“How do I know you won’t just leave me when I tell you?” Neil said. 

“If the door exists I’ll untie you,” the man said. 

Neil watched him for a moment, gauging his sincerity. It was almost impossible to do, since the mans face was completely blank--but the only other option was boiling cocoa on his face. 

He sighed. “Behind the bookshelf in the corner.” 

The man moved so fast he dropped the mug on the floor, and Neil hissed as he jerked away from the hot liquid spilling out of it. 

“Fucking _ass_!” he cursed, but when he looked up the man was frozen. He’d pulled the bookshelf away to reveal the closet sized room with the ladder. “Ok! It’s there! Can you let me up now?” 

The man didn’t answer, just leaned over the hole where the ladder was and stared. 

“Hello?” Neil said. “We made a deal.” 

Finally the man turned back to him, still looking down on him dramatically. It pissed Neil off. 

“How did you find this place?” 

“Hunting,” Neil lied immediately. 

The man’s eyes narrowed. “Truth or cocoa,” he said. 

Neil scowled, at least until the man stepped over Neil and started for the kitchen. 

“Ok--ok! I lied,” he said quickly. “I was being chased, I needed a place to hide.” 

“You had no idea anyone was here?” 

“I didn’t know this fucking tower existed until about half an hour ago.” 

“What does the name Spear mean to you?” 

“Nothing--is it supposed to?” 

“If you’re lying to me…” 

“--Cocoa--yeah, I get it, but I’m not--I don’t know any Spears.” 

“Hm.” The man’s eyes narrowed. “How do I know you won’t attack me as soon as I release you?” 

“I promise?” Neil said. The man didn’t look impressed. “I don’t want anything to do with you, as long as you don’t kill me--or dump hot cocoa on my face--I won’t touch you, I just want to leave.”

The man watched him for a long moment, then finally--“What’s your name?”

“People call me Neil,” Neil said, phrasing his words so it wasn’t a lie. The man seemed to catch it, but he didn’t say anything. “You?” Neil said. “Unless you want me to keep calling you psycho.” 

“Andrew.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so:::: 
> 
> #1: "Why the heck was Andrew in the tower and what's the deal with the body at the bottom?" 
> 
> So my idea was that it's similar to the books: Cass and Andrew lived in the tower (Cass is a witch) and Drake was a soldier. Drake was his usual self and Andrew dealt with it until Andrew learned about Aaron and then Drake learned about Aaron (I'm thinking Andrew was ~10-12ish). Drake is his fucking awful self, Andrew has had enough, and he shoved Drake out of the tower and kills him. He hadn't done this before because--again--Cass is a witch and 1. he didn't want to piss her off because he loved her and 2. she's a powerful witch who could kill him with a flick of her fingers. But--instead of killing him she just locks him in the tower, sealing it up except for the door behind the book case. She also removed all sharp objects and etc. etc. so that Andrew couldn't kill himself which is why he's got the long hair. 
> 
> #2: "What did Andrew mean by the whole interrogation scene??" 
> 
> yeah he just assumed Cass had sent someone up to r**** him to fuck with him more. She used to teleport herself and Drake up so he didn't know about the door. 
> 
> #3: "Where's everyone else???" 
> 
> k so in my head Neil and Andrew would team up a bit because Andrew wants to find Nicky and Aaron since now he's free, but he doesn't know where they are and Neil's his best bet for finding them. He ends up convincing Neil that he can be basically a bodyguard (he's muscly babey [yes read this like austin powers thank you]) and so they buzz off and shenaniganary ensues. They'd meet everyone else along the way, including Kevin--who's a professional jouster/ knight/ perfect golden boy for castle Evermore. They idk use him as a hostage to escape a sticky situation and then realize he's actually fucked if he goes back so they just keep him. 
> 
> Later on they'll bump into Renee--an actually decent witch--as well as Dan and Matt who are knights/ jousters for the Palmetto castle. Allison's probably gonna be a princess who's stuck in a castle guarded by a dragon, but Renee's a witch so she just zaps past it and is like 'yo what's up" and Allison's like "oh hey, i hate my parents so I ran away--that's Seth we're bros." 
> 
> I'm just rambling at this point but yeah that was my general idea, might keep this going, might not, for now I've got to finish Homesong first tho XD.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING I LOVE YOU !!!! plz tell me your favorite part I'll die.


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